It is Monday, exactly twelve weeks since I have left my job. Twelve weeks of debts mounting up and hopes raised and dashed every week for every job I apply for. I feel that leaving my last job has broadened my horizons, I have had far more interviews for jobs in the industry that I want to go in, but have always been second place to candidates that matched the criteria better, the good thing no one gives me criticism and I always leave on good terms- no hard feelings, its business. Within 3 months I have applied at least for 265 jobs, 45 said no, 207 never got back to me and 13 gave me an interview, some which I’m still waiting for the outcome. I’m abit of a nerd, I have created a spreadsheet to store all the details of all jobs I have applied for, when, who, what, where, how much etc, it is useful. I won’t lie, when I have spent a long time on an application, cover letter and all that to only be told ‘Sorry we won’t be taking you further’ or not getting back to me at all, I feel that I am wasting my time. My Mum has said to ‘I think you trying too hard, I have heard the average person gets 1 interview for every 100 jobs they go for’ astounding I know, to think that only 1 interview for 100! But I replied that I had worked out that for me for every 20 jobs I applied for I would get 1 interview which is lucky, and majority of the companies are amazing.
So how is life going? Im trying to look on the bright side which is hard sometimes. It’s not going well. 1. The job centre who referred me to some recruitment advisors decided to sanction my claim after I missed a first aid course- I had a health scare, I found a pea sixed lump on my breast and after having a grandmother who died of cancer I had totally freaked out and was convinced I had breast cancer myself. Thankfully, after tests it was a cyst which has gradually decreased in size. So, no money coming in. 2. It is Christmas in two weeks’ time and I haven’t the money to buy gifts, I have instead been borrowing some off my parents, in fact they have kindly lent me a lot to pay for the basic stuff I need like tights, shampoo, conditioner. It really is dreadful to ask for money when I should have my own. My dad works really hard and I feel guilty that I cannot help 3. One of my cats died suddenly of a heart attack, I was pretty heart broken. He was a pedigree cat and only three years old, one Friday morning he was sitting by the window falling a asleep then with one jolt fell to the floor had a convulsion. I tried to restart his heart and he slowly came round, but I can never forget the way he looked at me, he was conscious and didn’t know what was going on. My hand was on his heart, it felt like it was vibrating then all of the sudden it when so fast it made like pop sound and he was gone. 4. On the 11th will be 2 years since Tillie my 13 year old King Charles Cavalier has passed away, the pain of her leaving was unbelievable. 5. Mum had an accident on the bus when a woman walked out into the road with a baby and the bus had to make an emergency stop, my mum was flung half way across the bus, with internal damage being done. I have been looking after her but underneath I am scared that the doctors will find something more serious when they do the scans.6.My previous job was readvertised with double the money and different title, it was given to a man who used to be a missionary. I am pleased for him and I really do wish him well, he has a great family. 7. The job I used to have was at the heart of the community and I suppose leaving immediately after my concerns about quite a few things got pushed aside made me realise who are genuinely nice people. I have been snubbed by the majority of the people who I once worked with and customers which I assume my manager had the delight in stirring up. 8. My home, it is full of mould and the housing association wont treat it. They sold our flat to the neighbour who now has 13 cctv’s and installed doors, it is a prison more than anything. He is very two faced, he suggested that the housing association rehouse us so he can have the flat but the housing association said no, now they are trying to get us out with a notice of seeking possession and the reason….We don’t cut our grass every week even during the autumn and winter.
So, On one hand I’m hoping that something will work out. Miracles can happen and who knows, someone might want to do a flat exchange with us, mum might just have bruising after her accident, I might get a job I enjoy and we all might just have a new year which really is filled with good health and happiness. In the meantime, I will keep trudging along and hope for something good.